Tuesday, July 3, 2007

inauguration

yesterday was one of the most excruciatingly painful days of my life. and no, i don't mean emotional or metaphysical pain. i mean literal, gut-wrenching, ball-busting pain. it all started about an hour after i woke up (as it was my day off and i was able to sleep in). i started getting an unbearably dull ache in my side that was growing in intensity and size. i knew immediately what it was. it was a kidney stone.

when i was 15 i was afflicted with one of these little shits and it took me two weeks to pass it naturally. i think i drank most of the clean water my little city provides trying to flush it out of my system. anyway, the pain is identical and easily identifiable even 6 years later. i knew almost immediately what was going on and was also immediately ready to destroy something in a fit of rage.

i thought my dad might be able to help me through the encounter and we could circumscribe the emergency room visit, after all there's very little they can do for me. sadly, the pain became so intense that i started vomiting what seemed to be my own toenails. with the possibility of dehydration staring me in the face, we opted for the E.R. the 35 minute drive to the E.R. will prove to be the most unbelievably terrible car ride i've ever been in. this beats being thrown up on when i've been the designated driver for my friends. that shit sucked, but this shit was insane. i was writhing in pain so great that i got tunnel vision and was barely able to speak at audible levels. it felt like chuck norris had jumped into my kidney and decided to use his fists (and feet) of justice to break his way through my flank. pain scale? 10/10 for unbearably excruciating.

i still haven't passed the rock yet. every time i take a trip to the bathroom i've got my hopes up that this will be all over, but to no avail. i'm being beaten up and down by a chunk of calcium with only 5 millimeters of surface area. go figure, right?

in any case, most of the pain is probably over. hopefully. oh and welcome to my blog. not every post should be this full of pain and writhing because i'm not 16 anymore.

2 comments:

Ann Thrope said...

As someone with a morbid fascination for the diseased bodies of strangers, I sincerely hope you'll take a picture and post up here when you finally do pass the stone.

Ann Thrope said...

Of the stone I mean, of course.

Although if you have an ultrasound picture of your kidneys from the E.R. that would be cool too.

One of my great regrets is that when my kidneys got imaged last year I didn't ask for a picture to take home. Because you better believe I would have posted that shit on my blog.